Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 3rd October, 2005

Hydroxyethylcellulose (n)

One of the listed ingredients of conditioner. Normally noticed in the shower while conditioning the hair, this word is impossible to pronounce, and leaves such humans as Sam confused as to why conditioner should sound so complicated. Obviously this element of conditioner is vital to the health of hair – as are other ingredients alcohol, fragrance, water and sulphuric acid. A recent readers poll in New Idea surprisingly revealed that hydroxyethylcellulose is the new black. The grand final of the last series of Australia’s Brainiest Kid saw a tiebreaker question to spell this word. Needless to say, neither kid was able to spell correctly and both were disposed of. To try and boost sales of All Bran, Derryn Hinch brought it upon himself to make random house visits and question toilet users about whether they thought All Bran should include hydroxyethylcellulose. They told him to go and eat a cactus. The recent explosion of a turnip chip factory in Mexico has sparked outrage amongst nearby residents, who claim the scattered crumbs from the blast may well cause the spread of lethal nuclear hydroxyethylcellulose among their sheep.