Meetcrol (n, v, adj.)
The state of mind in which one reminisces. Coincidentally, being Sam’s final Word, Meetcrol causes one to look back with warm fuzzies into the year of Sam’s Word of the Week. Having mentioned almost every celebrity making the news across the past year, only four complaints of defamation were lodged. Surprisingly, over the twenty-five words, there was never one reference to Michael Jackson. RSPCA activists were outraged when “Walrus” and “Fox” were used as words, especially when rumours circulated of a staged duel between the two beasts (and for the record, the walrus won). “Frock” caused a phenomena throughout the campus to re-wear moulding clothes from the nineties, and “Squelch” sparked a duck massacre. The year’s biggest outrage resulted from the accusation made mid-year that Bob Carr had retired to sell vegetable pasties. This sparked rioting amongst ravenous vegetarians. In August 2005, Rivcoll announced that it did not endorse the consumption of the world’s most dangerous food – Turnip Chips® after the chip claimed nineteen fatalities. Despite attention from this column, the definition of “Hydroxyethylcellulose” still remains unknown. A poll discovered that CSU’s favourite word of the year was “Doorbell” as it supposedly sounded similar to ‘hippopotamus’. As noted in the Daily Advertiser this week, Sam was sued for $627.74 for using “Teflon®” as a word without seeking permission first. He has 47 cents remaining in his bank account.
Hence, Sam’s Words of the Week were thus: Haberdashery, Pigeonhole, Trousers, Casserole, Liquid, Cellophane, Walrus, Orchid, Squelch, Gargle, Chalk, Fox, Crumpet, Oblong, Myth, Vegetable Pastie, Doorbell, Swoop, Frock, Chew, Hydroxyethylcellulose, Begrudgingly, Handbag, Teflon®, Turnip Chips® and Meetcrol. Sam would like to thank everyone who made Sam’s Word of the Week possible: his mum, the readers, the hecklers, Ray Martin, Anthony Callea, and of course the funniest food in the world – Turnip Chips®
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 31st October, 2005
Turnip Chips® (n)
The food item that inspired Charles Sturt University throughout 2005. Invented by Vincent Price in 1965, the Turnip Chip® is now celebrating its 40th year of causing nausea among the elderly. In the 1970s, hippies worldwide began to turn to smoking Turnip Chips® as a legal alternative to marijuana. Police responded to this action by offering uncooperative hippies free un-smokeable vegetable pasties, which sparked the great Turnip Chip® riot of 1978. In the 80s the Turnip Chip® became the greatest fashion accessory since sliced bread to add to one’s mullet and leather pants. However, after all these good times, it was in the 1990s that the dark side of Turnip Chips® began to emerge. The biggest epidemic since polio began to sweep America – Turnip Disease. Cities, dumps, and associated species of rabbit were wiped out and all turnips were in turn eradicated worldwide. The resurgence of Turnip Chips® as part of McDonald’s New Taste menu in 2001 made Australians queasy with excitement at the infamous food’s return. In recent months rumours have spread stating that the vaccination to Birdflu is in fact Turnip Chips® - however sceptics believe it to be methylated spirit biscuits. Last week Sam bought the rights to Turnip Chips® and this week has declared Turnip Chips® as the greatest running gag of 2005.
The food item that inspired Charles Sturt University throughout 2005. Invented by Vincent Price in 1965, the Turnip Chip® is now celebrating its 40th year of causing nausea among the elderly. In the 1970s, hippies worldwide began to turn to smoking Turnip Chips® as a legal alternative to marijuana. Police responded to this action by offering uncooperative hippies free un-smokeable vegetable pasties, which sparked the great Turnip Chip® riot of 1978. In the 80s the Turnip Chip® became the greatest fashion accessory since sliced bread to add to one’s mullet and leather pants. However, after all these good times, it was in the 1990s that the dark side of Turnip Chips® began to emerge. The biggest epidemic since polio began to sweep America – Turnip Disease. Cities, dumps, and associated species of rabbit were wiped out and all turnips were in turn eradicated worldwide. The resurgence of Turnip Chips® as part of McDonald’s New Taste menu in 2001 made Australians queasy with excitement at the infamous food’s return. In recent months rumours have spread stating that the vaccination to Birdflu is in fact Turnip Chips® - however sceptics believe it to be methylated spirit biscuits. Last week Sam bought the rights to Turnip Chips® and this week has declared Turnip Chips® as the greatest running gag of 2005.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 24th October, 2005
Teflon® (n)
The non-stick product that everybody loves. Teflon® is made up of tiny little particles of the world’s slipperiest items including jelly, banana peels, oil, water and sandpaper. Historians have traced the invention of Teflon® back to cavemen, who were sick of not being able to separate their omelettes from their frypans (and consequently ended up eating the frypans). This caused declining numbers among the cavemen until a young cave boy named Richie Benaud invented the banana peel and history was made. Jessica Simpson apparently rolled around in a vat of Teflon® in preparation for her clip “These Boots are Made for Walking” to ensure she would not stick to the car’s bonnet. Controversy surrounded the birth of Crown Prince Frederik and Princess Mary’s baby boy, after George W. Bush gave him the gift of a Teflon® bed. Reportedly he was concerned the baby would turn into a fish. Following the lead from Teflon®, Sam is pleased to announce that from this day, he has officially registered turnip chips as his own, and from now on will be known as Turnip Chips®.
The non-stick product that everybody loves. Teflon® is made up of tiny little particles of the world’s slipperiest items including jelly, banana peels, oil, water and sandpaper. Historians have traced the invention of Teflon® back to cavemen, who were sick of not being able to separate their omelettes from their frypans (and consequently ended up eating the frypans). This caused declining numbers among the cavemen until a young cave boy named Richie Benaud invented the banana peel and history was made. Jessica Simpson apparently rolled around in a vat of Teflon® in preparation for her clip “These Boots are Made for Walking” to ensure she would not stick to the car’s bonnet. Controversy surrounded the birth of Crown Prince Frederik and Princess Mary’s baby boy, after George W. Bush gave him the gift of a Teflon® bed. Reportedly he was concerned the baby would turn into a fish. Following the lead from Teflon®, Sam is pleased to announce that from this day, he has officially registered turnip chips as his own, and from now on will be known as Turnip Chips®.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 17th October, 2005
Handbag (n)
The bag in which to place one’s hands. This has forever been an accessory for a woman on a big night out, or just for a leisurely stroll around an ice capped mountain. Boris Glizter invented the handbag in 1749 as he was stumbling around the dark of his basement reaching around for a light switch. Unfortunately; he found a guillotine, his hand fell into a bag, and the term handbag was coined. Cannibals worldwide use handbags everyday for quick disposal, especially seeing the hands are the least meaty, and therefore most unwanted part of the body. Women worldwide use handbags for carrying items such as steak knives, rams and steering locks. In a recent poll Who Weekly readers have rated the new term “manbag” as ‘just plain unfunny’. Students across CSU have been lodging formal complaints after mysterious crumbs of turnip chips have been discovered in their handbags. Accusations have pointed the finger at stay at home dad Mark Latham, who in his diaries slagged off about his hate for turnip chips.
The bag in which to place one’s hands. This has forever been an accessory for a woman on a big night out, or just for a leisurely stroll around an ice capped mountain. Boris Glizter invented the handbag in 1749 as he was stumbling around the dark of his basement reaching around for a light switch. Unfortunately; he found a guillotine, his hand fell into a bag, and the term handbag was coined. Cannibals worldwide use handbags everyday for quick disposal, especially seeing the hands are the least meaty, and therefore most unwanted part of the body. Women worldwide use handbags for carrying items such as steak knives, rams and steering locks. In a recent poll Who Weekly readers have rated the new term “manbag” as ‘just plain unfunny’. Students across CSU have been lodging formal complaints after mysterious crumbs of turnip chips have been discovered in their handbags. Accusations have pointed the finger at stay at home dad Mark Latham, who in his diaries slagged off about his hate for turnip chips.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 3rd October, 2005
Hydroxyethylcellulose (n)
One of the listed ingredients of conditioner. Normally noticed in the shower while conditioning the hair, this word is impossible to pronounce, and leaves such humans as Sam confused as to why conditioner should sound so complicated. Obviously this element of conditioner is vital to the health of hair – as are other ingredients alcohol, fragrance, water and sulphuric acid. A recent readers poll in New Idea surprisingly revealed that hydroxyethylcellulose is the new black. The grand final of the last series of Australia’s Brainiest Kid saw a tiebreaker question to spell this word. Needless to say, neither kid was able to spell correctly and both were disposed of. To try and boost sales of All Bran, Derryn Hinch brought it upon himself to make random house visits and question toilet users about whether they thought All Bran should include hydroxyethylcellulose. They told him to go and eat a cactus. The recent explosion of a turnip chip factory in Mexico has sparked outrage amongst nearby residents, who claim the scattered crumbs from the blast may well cause the spread of lethal nuclear hydroxyethylcellulose among their sheep.
One of the listed ingredients of conditioner. Normally noticed in the shower while conditioning the hair, this word is impossible to pronounce, and leaves such humans as Sam confused as to why conditioner should sound so complicated. Obviously this element of conditioner is vital to the health of hair – as are other ingredients alcohol, fragrance, water and sulphuric acid. A recent readers poll in New Idea surprisingly revealed that hydroxyethylcellulose is the new black. The grand final of the last series of Australia’s Brainiest Kid saw a tiebreaker question to spell this word. Needless to say, neither kid was able to spell correctly and both were disposed of. To try and boost sales of All Bran, Derryn Hinch brought it upon himself to make random house visits and question toilet users about whether they thought All Bran should include hydroxyethylcellulose. They told him to go and eat a cactus. The recent explosion of a turnip chip factory in Mexico has sparked outrage amongst nearby residents, who claim the scattered crumbs from the blast may well cause the spread of lethal nuclear hydroxyethylcellulose among their sheep.
Monday, September 05, 2005
Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 5th September, 2005
Chew (v)
An action made by the teeth during food consumption, to make the food easier to swallow. The hippopotamus is the only animal in the world that cannot chew. Instead, they employ the birds that annoyingly sit on their backs to chew, swallow and regurgitate wolves, which they then feed to the hippopotamuses. Sadly, the feeder birds quite often become consumed in the process. American rappers have become synonymous with chewing, mostly because of the fact that they misinterpret the words “with you” as “wi chew”. Snooooooooooop, go back to primary school. The largest ever piece of chewing gum manufactured was taken on by eleven year-old Harry Benson in 1976. After taking three hours to place it in his mouth, he found it impossible to chew and ended up breaking his jaw, choking and dying from the experience. Latest research has shown that it is impossible to chew turnip chips. To consume such a food, one must tilt the head back, block the nose and swallow the chip whole. Health warnings do strongly advise that eating turnip chips whole can increase the risk of exploding lungs.
An action made by the teeth during food consumption, to make the food easier to swallow. The hippopotamus is the only animal in the world that cannot chew. Instead, they employ the birds that annoyingly sit on their backs to chew, swallow and regurgitate wolves, which they then feed to the hippopotamuses. Sadly, the feeder birds quite often become consumed in the process. American rappers have become synonymous with chewing, mostly because of the fact that they misinterpret the words “with you” as “wi chew”. Snooooooooooop, go back to primary school. The largest ever piece of chewing gum manufactured was taken on by eleven year-old Harry Benson in 1976. After taking three hours to place it in his mouth, he found it impossible to chew and ended up breaking his jaw, choking and dying from the experience. Latest research has shown that it is impossible to chew turnip chips. To consume such a food, one must tilt the head back, block the nose and swallow the chip whole. Health warnings do strongly advise that eating turnip chips whole can increase the risk of exploding lungs.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 29th August, 2005
Frock (n)
A great type of apparel that is apparently coming back into fashion, especially in nursing homes across Australia. Harold Frock invented the frock in the late sixteenth century, after he decided that females should no longer wear pantaloons. Much rioting occurred as a result of this bold discriminating statement, and many women were seen marching down Harold’s street waving burning frocks in protest. Later that night Harold was murdered. Fifty years later after the ice age finished, the frock was rediscovered and became loved by all. The world’s first amusement park, Frockville, was opened and included such rides as the ‘Frockinator’, ‘Freaky Frock’ and ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Frock!’ The park received great business until a rival park named Disneyland opened, whose anti-frock policy forced Frockville to close. In protest, celebrities grouped together to record the number one smash single ‘Frock the World’. More recently, stylish tartan frocks have been selling through the roof, making for the perfect clothing item to wear to lectures, work or 21st parties. Frocks have recently been installed with magnetic powers so that many an item can be ‘fashionably’ attached, including saucepans, spoons, bobby pins and leftover crumbs of turnip chips.
A great type of apparel that is apparently coming back into fashion, especially in nursing homes across Australia. Harold Frock invented the frock in the late sixteenth century, after he decided that females should no longer wear pantaloons. Much rioting occurred as a result of this bold discriminating statement, and many women were seen marching down Harold’s street waving burning frocks in protest. Later that night Harold was murdered. Fifty years later after the ice age finished, the frock was rediscovered and became loved by all. The world’s first amusement park, Frockville, was opened and included such rides as the ‘Frockinator’, ‘Freaky Frock’ and ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Frock!’ The park received great business until a rival park named Disneyland opened, whose anti-frock policy forced Frockville to close. In protest, celebrities grouped together to record the number one smash single ‘Frock the World’. More recently, stylish tartan frocks have been selling through the roof, making for the perfect clothing item to wear to lectures, work or 21st parties. Frocks have recently been installed with magnetic powers so that many an item can be ‘fashionably’ attached, including saucepans, spoons, bobby pins and leftover crumbs of turnip chips.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 22nd August, 2005
Swoop (v)
A certain movement mostly committed by angry magpies when a cyclist gets close by, or at least within a five-kilometre radius. The word derives from ancient times, when guillotines were created with the very gimmicky “bonus swooping action”. This element backfired when everyone in the room lost their heads due to the unpredictability of the swooping. In one of his concerts, Ozzy Osbourne infamously bit the head off a swooping seagull, which had become dazed and confused from trying to find the SCG all day. Birds have been long known for swooping to eat turnip chips, only to explode into smithereens moments later due to their poor digestive systems.
A certain movement mostly committed by angry magpies when a cyclist gets close by, or at least within a five-kilometre radius. The word derives from ancient times, when guillotines were created with the very gimmicky “bonus swooping action”. This element backfired when everyone in the room lost their heads due to the unpredictability of the swooping. In one of his concerts, Ozzy Osbourne infamously bit the head off a swooping seagull, which had become dazed and confused from trying to find the SCG all day. Birds have been long known for swooping to eat turnip chips, only to explode into smithereens moments later due to their poor digestive systems.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 15th August, 2005
Doorbell (n)
The bell of one’s door. The doorbell’s creation changed the world forever. Before they existed, residents used to employ doormen to sit by their door and look out for visitors, before setting off an air horn to alert residents on their arrival. Unfortunately, this air horn aggravated every dog within a five-kilometre radius, which then proceeded to savagely chew the doormen. Today, doorbells make for great prank material, especially when given the fact that some doorbells play long, annoying melodies, and therefore annoy the self-inflicted victim for lengthy amounts of time. The newly released “Axel F Crazy Frog” doorbell has caused residents to jump out closed windows, set fire to furniture, drink barbeque sauce, squeeze lemons into their eyes, and eat turnip chips to cope with the irritation.
The bell of one’s door. The doorbell’s creation changed the world forever. Before they existed, residents used to employ doormen to sit by their door and look out for visitors, before setting off an air horn to alert residents on their arrival. Unfortunately, this air horn aggravated every dog within a five-kilometre radius, which then proceeded to savagely chew the doormen. Today, doorbells make for great prank material, especially when given the fact that some doorbells play long, annoying melodies, and therefore annoy the self-inflicted victim for lengthy amounts of time. The newly released “Axel F Crazy Frog” doorbell has caused residents to jump out closed windows, set fire to furniture, drink barbeque sauce, squeeze lemons into their eyes, and eat turnip chips to cope with the irritation.
Monday, August 08, 2005
Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 8th August, 2005
Vegetable Pastie (n)
A pastry filled with vegetables. One of the oldest forms of food around, herbivore and carnivore dinosaurs ate these as the perfect afternoon snack after a long day at the office. Many years later, uni students purchase vegetable pasties today, when there are no pies left. Rumours surrounding Bob Carr’s recent resignation suggest he left to start a new life promoting vegetable pasties. Good for him. In 2001, McDonalds added the ‘turnip chip vegetable pastie’ to its new taste menu. Due to the amount of repulsion and sickness caused from the new taste, the multi-billion dollar company nearly went into bankruptcy.
A pastry filled with vegetables. One of the oldest forms of food around, herbivore and carnivore dinosaurs ate these as the perfect afternoon snack after a long day at the office. Many years later, uni students purchase vegetable pasties today, when there are no pies left. Rumours surrounding Bob Carr’s recent resignation suggest he left to start a new life promoting vegetable pasties. Good for him. In 2001, McDonalds added the ‘turnip chip vegetable pastie’ to its new taste menu. Due to the amount of repulsion and sickness caused from the new taste, the multi-billion dollar company nearly went into bankruptcy.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 1st August, 2005
Myth (n)
In this, a special edition of Sam’s Word of the Week, we will delve into some of the myths about the history of Rivcoll over time. Please note that many of the following are conspiracies, and may or may not be fact.
Firstly, located in the pond on campus (when it is full) is a dinosaur, named Ethel. Ethel is a hungry, hard of hearing, and the campus’ oldest resident. There have been many a reported sighting of Ethel (mostly by hallucinating students), and she is believed to be the second cousin of the Loch Ness monster. The implementation of the sculpture in the centre of the pond caused usually calm Ethel to rebel, consuming hundreds of students and several lecturers. To ensure this incident doesn’t occur again, Rivcoll staff regularly throw buckets of vegetable pasties into the pond for Ethel to eat, or a duck to choke on.
Many famous visitors and bands have dropped by the Crow Bar, many brought by Rivcoll. George W. Bush invited himself in early April 2004, hoping to find some weapons of mass destruction. All he found was some tipsy students and an empty packet of skittles. Elvis Presley performed at the uni in the late 1990s, proving the fact that he is still alive, while bringing worldwide media, astonished fans, and attention to the uni. The Cookie Monster dropped by in 1990 on a promotional tour, consuming every biscuit on campus, before being eaten himself by rabid wolves.
Rivcoll has supplied the ever-popular Hungappa publication to students weekly. Past regular articles have included “Why I hate Ray Martin in 2500 words or less”, “Cooking with the Not-Chef” and “Darryl’s Diseases”, which caused nausea among readers campus wide.
Following the highly demanded eradication of all turnip chips from the Nosh Pit, the infamous “turnip chip fire of 2001”, at the top of the hill, became one of Charles Sturt University’s finest moments.
In this, a special edition of Sam’s Word of the Week, we will delve into some of the myths about the history of Rivcoll over time. Please note that many of the following are conspiracies, and may or may not be fact.
Firstly, located in the pond on campus (when it is full) is a dinosaur, named Ethel. Ethel is a hungry, hard of hearing, and the campus’ oldest resident. There have been many a reported sighting of Ethel (mostly by hallucinating students), and she is believed to be the second cousin of the Loch Ness monster. The implementation of the sculpture in the centre of the pond caused usually calm Ethel to rebel, consuming hundreds of students and several lecturers. To ensure this incident doesn’t occur again, Rivcoll staff regularly throw buckets of vegetable pasties into the pond for Ethel to eat, or a duck to choke on.
Many famous visitors and bands have dropped by the Crow Bar, many brought by Rivcoll. George W. Bush invited himself in early April 2004, hoping to find some weapons of mass destruction. All he found was some tipsy students and an empty packet of skittles. Elvis Presley performed at the uni in the late 1990s, proving the fact that he is still alive, while bringing worldwide media, astonished fans, and attention to the uni. The Cookie Monster dropped by in 1990 on a promotional tour, consuming every biscuit on campus, before being eaten himself by rabid wolves.
Rivcoll has supplied the ever-popular Hungappa publication to students weekly. Past regular articles have included “Why I hate Ray Martin in 2500 words or less”, “Cooking with the Not-Chef” and “Darryl’s Diseases”, which caused nausea among readers campus wide.
Following the highly demanded eradication of all turnip chips from the Nosh Pit, the infamous “turnip chip fire of 2001”, at the top of the hill, became one of Charles Sturt University’s finest moments.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 25th July, 2005
Oblong (n)
An elongated shape, much like a rectangle. The word actually dates from Roman times, where Emperor Oblong invented a certain shaped port-a-loo, which was written down in history as the “oblong”, after its creator. A recent poll for “the world’s most useless shape”, found the oblong ranked second, just behind the rhombus. This caused rioting amongst outraged mathematics groups worldwide. Recently Masterfoods recalled all its turnip chips after the discovery of a packet of abnormal, oblong-shaped chips. All of these ended up as landfill, finally fulfilling the purpose of turnip chips.
An elongated shape, much like a rectangle. The word actually dates from Roman times, where Emperor Oblong invented a certain shaped port-a-loo, which was written down in history as the “oblong”, after its creator. A recent poll for “the world’s most useless shape”, found the oblong ranked second, just behind the rhombus. This caused rioting amongst outraged mathematics groups worldwide. Recently Masterfoods recalled all its turnip chips after the discovery of a packet of abnormal, oblong-shaped chips. All of these ended up as landfill, finally fulfilling the purpose of turnip chips.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 6th June, 2005
Crumpet (n)
A variety of bread, most famous for growing on crumpet vines worldwide. Normally spread on crumpets is honey, strawberry jam or blended lettuce. Just last week, nine-year-old Mark Fox was admitted to hospital after attempting to eat a trumpet with honey, having confused it for a crumpet. He gained a broken jaw from the experience, as well as a good smacking from his parents. Health regulations nationwide advise against eating crumpets with melted, hot turnip chips, as the combination will cause death.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 30th May, 2005
Fox (n)
Related to the dog, these animals are extremely unpopular, known to wreak havoc around farms and neighbourhood shopping centres. Just last week foxes ranked sixteenth on Who Weekly’s list of “The World’s Most Annoying Pests”, behind flies, cockroaches and Ray Martin. Controversy has surrounded the children’s classic “Fox in Socks” by Dr Seuss, recently taken out of the children’s section in bookstores worldwide, due to concerned parents questioning if the fox was wearing anything else. Foxes cunningly use turnip chips as bait to attract sheep, before pouncing and eating the sheep themselves.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 23rd May, 2005
Chalk (n)
A piece of soft, porous, coloured material. This item is mostly used to write on such items as blackboards. Chalk is grown on chalk trees by farmers all over the world, and alongside water, is quickly becoming one of the world’s most precious resources. Teachers are the biggest users of chalk, but a recent trend shows that they are shifting towards using the enemy – the whiteboard marker. With the recent release of the new Star Wars film, the new craze sweeping schoolyards nationwide are chalk sabres. Sadly, this is resulting in the new condition known to hospitals as “chalky eye”. Chalk is easily snapped; which causes the fingernails to scrape the blackboard, producing that awful screeching sound that everybody loves. Germany is world-famous for its annual chalk-eating contest, in which Hans Bleicher gained a world record for consuming 363 sticks of chalk in an hour. He died sixteen minutes later. Recent university studies have discovered that chalk and turnip chips taste extremely similar, so much so that identifying between the two tastes blindfolded is near impossible.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 16th May, 2005
Gargle (v)
The art of tilting the head back, holding a liquid towards the back of the mouth and breathing air through the liquid to create a sound similar to “urrghlhhrlughlhurgghh”. This sound is often used to make those penguin impressions that so attract the ladies, not to mention the other penguins. Olympic swimmers, shooters and ping-pongers are infamous for gargling for at least fourteen minutes straight as a warm-up routine before their respective events. A rapid increase in gargling has occurred recently in Australia due to a number of All Bran eaters realising after they had eaten their cereal, that there was an image of Derryn Hinch on the front of the cereal box. These people have also become world record holders, travelling at the speed of sound to try and get as close to a nearby sink as quickly as possible. Recent studies have discovered the average human would need to gargle something as strong as paint to get rid of the aftertaste of the turnip chip.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 9th May, 2005
Squelch (v)
The sound produced from treading in thick mud, a bucket of slime, or a pile of slugs. Lesser-known causes for this sound include dropping a walrus into a lake from a great height, diving headfirst into a small bowl of jelly, using a Care Bear as a toilet plunger, and also the hair product as it is put through Ian Thorpe’s new, “fashionable” mullet on Logies night. According to recent university studies, this sound is best created when sitting on large quantities of soggy turnip chips.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 2nd May, 2005
Orchid (n)
A tropical plant of great popularity among those over 65 who have no pressing assignments and plenty of time to potter around in the garden. The flowers of these plants are noted for their exotic beauty, a centrepiece of rich smells and splendour, much like ladies hats on Melbourne Cup Day. The flowers range in colour from purple to pink, and according to the White Stripes new single, even blue. They are inedible and have been known to cause nausea, a trait they share with the humble turnip chip.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 25th April, 2005
Walrus (n)
A large marine mammal, scientifically known as Odobenus rosmarus, of Arctic regions. They are related to seals and have two long, often yellow tusks, tough wrinkled skin, and four flippers. The Walrus is an animal of great reference by rock group the Beatles. The song “I am the Walrus” allowed this loveable mammal to gain some recognition worldwide. Walruses enjoy sleeping, sun baking, swimming and eating turnip chips.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 18th April, 2005
Cellophane (n)
A thin, flexible, transparent cellulose material made from viscose and used as a moisture proof wrapping for such goods as lollies, flowers and turnip chips. Invented by Jacques E. Brandenberger in 1908, the creation has long since been infamous for use in wrapping bad presents, turning them from trashy into flashy.
Monday, April 18, 2005
Update
Just to let you all know, I will be updating this website regularly each week with new words. Please feel free to comment on the words, and also I issue you all a challenge to use the words as often as you can in everyday life - and you can even write these quotes as comments here. Enjoy!
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
A taste of things to come...
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Grip yourselves for something great... the craze that is sweeping the nation (and soon to be world), is readily available for view from the comfort of your home computer desk, or associated place of internet-connectedness.
The so called "fad" that I describe is Sam's Word of the Week. What began from humble beginnings has become popular, and has been seen in such publications as Charles Sturt University's "Hungappa" student magazine. The word needs to be spread to a wider audience, and I believe a blog will reach that. Being slightly technologically challenged, I have been assured that these "blog" things are the way of the future, so hopefully I will cope with it.
Sam's Word of the Week is currently on hiatus until term returns on Monday the 18th April 2005. You will then be able to view each new word of the week here every Monday morning (AEST). Here you can also reflect on each week's word, give reviews and share how you will use, (and have used), each week's word in everyday life.
Until the 18th - be sure to save this site saved in your list of "favourites", and get excited about the many random words ahead.
Grip yourselves for something great... the craze that is sweeping the nation (and soon to be world), is readily available for view from the comfort of your home computer desk, or associated place of internet-connectedness.
The so called "fad" that I describe is Sam's Word of the Week. What began from humble beginnings has become popular, and has been seen in such publications as Charles Sturt University's "Hungappa" student magazine. The word needs to be spread to a wider audience, and I believe a blog will reach that. Being slightly technologically challenged, I have been assured that these "blog" things are the way of the future, so hopefully I will cope with it.
Sam's Word of the Week is currently on hiatus until term returns on Monday the 18th April 2005. You will then be able to view each new word of the week here every Monday morning (AEST). Here you can also reflect on each week's word, give reviews and share how you will use, (and have used), each week's word in everyday life.
Until the 18th - be sure to save this site saved in your list of "favourites", and get excited about the many random words ahead.
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