Sam's Word of the Week - Monday 1st August, 2005

Myth (n)

In this, a special edition of Sam’s Word of the Week, we will delve into some of the myths about the history of Rivcoll over time. Please note that many of the following are conspiracies, and may or may not be fact.

Firstly, located in the pond on campus (when it is full) is a dinosaur, named Ethel. Ethel is a hungry, hard of hearing, and the campus’ oldest resident. There have been many a reported sighting of Ethel (mostly by hallucinating students), and she is believed to be the second cousin of the Loch Ness monster. The implementation of the sculpture in the centre of the pond caused usually calm Ethel to rebel, consuming hundreds of students and several lecturers. To ensure this incident doesn’t occur again, Rivcoll staff regularly throw buckets of vegetable pasties into the pond for Ethel to eat, or a duck to choke on.

Many famous visitors and bands have dropped by the Crow Bar, many brought by Rivcoll. George W. Bush invited himself in early April 2004, hoping to find some weapons of mass destruction. All he found was some tipsy students and an empty packet of skittles. Elvis Presley performed at the uni in the late 1990s, proving the fact that he is still alive, while bringing worldwide media, astonished fans, and attention to the uni. The Cookie Monster dropped by in 1990 on a promotional tour, consuming every biscuit on campus, before being eaten himself by rabid wolves.

Rivcoll has supplied the ever-popular Hungappa publication to students weekly. Past regular articles have included “Why I hate Ray Martin in 2500 words or less”, “Cooking with the Not-Chef” and “Darryl’s Diseases”, which caused nausea among readers campus wide.

Following the highly demanded eradication of all turnip chips from the Nosh Pit, the infamous “turnip chip fire of 2001”, at the top of the hill, became one of Charles Sturt University’s finest moments.