Biscuit (n)

A type of food greatly loved by children, grandparents and many of those aged in between. Created in the dark ages, these foods are now synonymous with being a rather unhealthy item to eat in mass amounts. Whoever said they wanted a packet of tim-tams that never runs out should seriously take a step back and have a good think. Controversy surrounded the recent blitz at a national dog food company, after a concerned person claimed that the dog biscuits were too hard to chew. He was the victim of a broken jaw, four lost teeth and became the butt of many jokes for weeks. Allegedly he thought the label read “good biscuits”. McDonalds have recently added a tantalising range of onion, parsnip and fish biscuits to their menu, right alongside the new $1.50 single slice of toast. Pop tragedies Limp Bizkit have completely disappeared from the face of the earth, and while some may argue this is due to the daring and edgy spelling of the world “biscuit”; the truth is that they just weren’t really all that good.