Sunday, May 16, 2010

Classic Word from 2006: Bland (n)


Plain, boring, or un-wild. Almost the kind of word you would use to describe the experience of watching paint dry while playing chess with three 80 year olds with the financial news playing in the background. A recent poll was undertaken to find the most bland thing in the world. Fishcakes topped the rank, followed by fishcakes with tartar sauce. Some daring journalists even said that the Beaconsfield mine disaster had become rather bland by the tenth day of rescue. It is reported that having Kochie in the area wasn’t helping improve the blandness either. The recent budget was aired on the ABC up against the final of Dancing With the Stars. Surprisingly, the budget out rated the dancing by 70%, mostly due to the fact that the majority of Australians find Daryl Somers much more bland than national finances. Recent reviews of the latest Red Hot Chili Peppers album conclude that the album isn’t ‘bland’ as such, but rather ‘sounds very much like every other Peppers album’. Pop tragics Nickelback may have had critical acclaim worldwide for their tracks, but the truth of the matter is that they are blander than every other band out there (yes, including Toto), and many would rather have their teeth extracted without anesthetic than hear “Photograph” one more time. Myself included.

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